The Relationships

That must be the basic responsibility of every alert being: Before I move in any relationship I must be unburdened. I should not carry a hangover; only then can I help the other to grow. Otherwise I will exploit, and the other will exploit me! Otherwise I will try to dominate and the other will try to dominate me. And it will not be a relationship, it cannot be love, it will be a subtle politics.

And we are so bothered about these things which are NOT. You are too bothered if you are ugly. You are too bothered if you are beautiful. The worry is created by something which is not. A relative thing is NOT. It is just a relationship, as if you have drawn a design in the sky, a flower of air. Even a bubble in water is more substantial than relativities. Who are you if you are alone? Nobody. Somebodiness comes in relationship with somebody.

But as you become more and more aware of MANY people, as you become related to many people, one thing becomes absolutely clear to you: that ALL men are alike -- almost alike -- so are all women. Then settling starts. Then you start settling with one woman, with one man, in a more intimate relationship.
Ah, This!
There are two types of relationship: one is of fight, fear, hatred -- this creates ego -- the other is of love, compassion, sympathy. These are the two types of relationship. Wherever love is, fight ceases, ego drops. This is why you cannot love. It is difficult, because to love means to drop the ego, to drop yourself. Love means not to be.

A Bird On The WingsBetween the friend and the enemy there is not much difference. With the friend your relationship is love-hate, and with the enemy, your relationship is hate-love. That's the only difference -- just the difference of emphasis. Love on top and hate hidden behind it -- it is friendship. Hate has come on top and love has gone behind it -- it is enmity.